Week 15 29/06/16 Monday

I do believe this is the last week of Semester 1. I have not achieved the goals I set for myself, so this is going to feed into my break time. I am still working on the story and layouts, and I am almost done with pre-visualization.

Here is a bit of the treatment:

è Right answers: Nelly talks to mum about the dark figure. Mum tells Nelly that is not real, and she should not be afraid. She then sends Nelly off to play in the farm. Nelly receives a pair of gloves from mum. Mum then sends Nelly to help Natalie, Nelly’s older sister, who is cutting the roses and bunching them together in neat bundles. Nelly chats to Natalie about the dark figure. Natalie comforts her saying that the imagination can frighten people, but they learn to let it go and worry about real problems as they grow older. Nelly receives a pair of secateurs from Natalie. She goes and plays by herself. When Nelly is occupied by an activity, she does not sense the dark presence. But whenever she settles down to rest, she feels it behind her again. This time when she turns around, she sees something slither into hiding from the corner of her eye. Nelly begins to feel it creep up closer and closer to her whenever she turns her back towards it. She stands up and begins walking backwards, until she trips and tumbles into the large bush of roses. In it, Nelly discovers an entirely different world to her reality. The unknown figure continues to follow her. She tries to run away and hide. She comes to a steep cliff face that has rose vines crawling all over. Nelly puts on the gloves she got from mum and climbs up. At the top she sees an old greenhouse, with rose plants and weeds growing wild inside. Nelly hides in there. The creature comes searching, and discovers Nelly hiding under a bush. It pursues her to the exit. Nelly runs out of the greenhouse and quickly closes the door. The creature tries to push through. Several Nelly from the previous panels jump out and help herself to force the door close. Nelly then uses the secateurs to lock the greenhouse door. At home, Nelly does other activities such as drawing and reading. She has dinner with her family and she tells them about her adventure in the rose bush. Mum and dad laugh at her bizarre imagination. Natalie smiles and asks if the secateurs were useful. Nelly answers yes, and Natalie nods knowingly. Nelly does not see the white eyes in her dream that night.

      

      This is the first ending for the branching narrative. I am quite happy this one; it is simple and I may need to lower the age demographic this story is targeted at (7 and under). I am still working on the second ending, which I am trying to make it slightly more complicated, and maybe for older readers.

      I also did more drawings of White Eyes:

I have narrowed down the choices for White Eyes' appearance. His face is more resemblance to a human face; but something is obviously off about it.

 I also made some sketches of Nelly again; this time considering the critiques I received from the seminar presentation. Here, I am trying to make sure she looks Asian at first glance. I have shrunk the size of her eyes, and removed the highlight of the light reflection on her eyeballs. I also made adjustments to her body proportions so it is closer to real life.